Your Resume Gets You Noticed. Your References Can Seal the Deal.
How to Make the Most of Your References
In today’s competitive job market, even the most polished resumes and interviews benefit from one crucial finishing touch: strong references. A great reference can tip the scales in your favor, while a poorly chosen one might quietly derail your chances.
References are rooted in the idea that past performance is the best predictor of future success. In essence, they’re endorsements, and like all endorsements, they come with risk. That’s why it’s essential to be strategic about who you choose to represent you and how you prepare them.
Why Employers Are Cautious with References
Providing references isn't a legal requirement. Because of this, many organizations err on the side of caution. Rather than share opinions about someone’s performance, communication style, or leadership potential, they often limit themselves to verifying employment details such as title, dates, and sometimes salary (if a written release is provided).
Why? Because any reference -- even a glowing one -- carries potential liability. That’s why many employers have policies that discourage or prohibit providing them altogether.
How to Choose the Right References
The best references are people who genuinely believe in your abilities and can offer meaningful examples of your work. If your current organization discourages or restricts reference giving, consider contacts outside your current workplace. Think beyond current supervisors: clients, collaborators, peers, former managers, or board colleagues can all be strong advocates.
Avoid listing anyone who can’t confidently speak to your knowledge, skills, and potential. Instead, choose references who can offer specific, enthusiastic, and informed insights.
"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
Set Your References Up for Success
Once someone agrees to serve as a reference, make it easy for them to support you effectively. Here’s how:
Share the “why” behind your job search.
Are you happy where you are but exploring a rare opportunity? Say so.
Has a leadership change reshaped your role in ways that don’t play to your strengths? Offer context.
Has your job been eliminated? Be candid and outline what you're looking for next.
Send your current resume and cover letter. This gives them context about the specific role you're targeting and how you’re positioning yourself.
Link them to your LinkedIn profile. Make sure your profile is clean, up to date, and consistent with your resume.
Help them remember. If it’s been a while since you worked together, jog their memory: “Remember when we worked on the system upgrade? We spent weeks building out the communications plan together.”
Offer talking points. Provide a few bullet points about your strengths, accomplishments, or key projects they might reference.
What Makes a Reference Letter Stand Out
Most reference letters are filled with polite, generic praise. What makes a letter memorable is a concrete story that highlights real contributions.
A strong letter:
Establishes the relationship clearly
“I met Pat when we both worked at [organization] in [year], serving on a task force to update the payroll system.”
Describes specific strengths
“Pat actively pushed for necessary changes, helping surface disagreements and resolve them constructively. Their ability to foster open dialogue moved the project forward.”
Summarizes key takeaways
“By the time the task force concluded, Pat had shown the ability to think strategically, focus on execution, and collaborate effectively in both leadership and support roles.”
This is far more powerful than:
“Pat has great communication skills, works well on teams, and gets things done.”
Look Beyond the Obvious
Strong references can come from:
Colleagues, direct reports, or peers
Clients or vendors
Leaders from professional associations
Partners on committees, boards, or volunteer projects
Think about what each person can speak to: your technical skills, your leadership, your creativity, your integrity. Different voices, different lenses, same message: you're a great hire.
If You’re Asked to Be a Reference
Being a reference is often seen as reciprocal, but it shouldn’t be automatic. Only say yes if you can speak genuinely and positively about the person. If you can’t, it’s better to politely decline than to give a lukewarm endorsement that could hurt their chances.
Making a Case for Your Future
References can be powerful assets, if you choose the right people and equip them well. A thoughtful, well-prepared reference will do more than validate your past: they’ll help make the case for your future.
When you treat references as a strategic part of the hiring or job search process, you provide deeper insight into who you are as a candidate and present a more compelling case for yourself. Strong references reinforce your message, highlight your strengths, and build trust. If you are ready to bring more clarity and intention to your hiring process, or need support preparing to shine as a candidate, I’d welcome the opportunity to talk. Let’s connect and explore how I can help you make the most of this often overlooked step.
Nicole Norian is the founder of Chrysalis HR Consulting, an experienced HR leader, and a certified executive and career coach. With over three decades of HR leadership expertise and a deep commitment to helping individuals and organizations thrive, she has dedicated her career to empowering leaders and fostering dynamic, mission-driven cultures. Her consulting and coaching work focuses on Strategy, Policy, and People Development.